Monday, December 5, 2016

High Teas

Maternity leave is the time for pretending to be a taitai and high tea is the traditional mark of the high life.

Probably my last high tea with the hubby and number two and three at The National Kitchen by Violet Oon at the National Gallery before I head back to work. The kuehs and peranakan delights are heavenly! D day is on 19th Dec as I check in to office before everyone else checks out for christmas hols.

This precious four months have been the best, with a new helper on board, I have been finally able to enjoy the leave. Although I had little "me" time, i really enjoyed bonding with the newborn. Funny I never thought newborns were much fun. I hated it when Aly was newborn, I was a new mom and she was always crying 24 seven and I never knew what to do with her. With Ashley and her sweet and easy going temperament, I really hate the idea of returning to work now.

Anyhow I have spent the past months dutifully breastfeeding and being the caregiver for the little tot. But finding the little time slots in between to bake and cook, scrapbook, blog and yoga. Little Aly benefitted most as my mom said with the personalized violin practice sessions where I was her dutiful piano accompanist.

We managed through all the year end concerts, camps and what not, mainly for Aly...thankfully Asher too young still to join the fray. Most importantly, this was a good time to catch up with family and friends without thinking about work all the time. The high teas, buffets ans great food was a bonus! But all that said, having a kid is too difficult a price to pay for the four months of maternity leave, so I hope I can safely say now, "it's a wrap" and sadly I know I must return to reality soon but its been a really really nice four months :)

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

We always forget

No matter how hard I try,
to remember each moment passing by.
Each smile, every laugh, every cry,
Fades quickly as time goes by.

I close my eyes and try to recall,
the days when you were so small.
With each new step, you grew so tall,
and these are now just memories on my walls.

You would smile at me with your eyes,
I was your everything and you were mine
You would hug me ever so tight
As I chase the monsters in your dreams at night.

Will this time i carry you be the last?
Why does time fly by so fast?
Strangely, it never feels that way always
Until it is too late to rewind the days

We always forget..though I wish we didn't
Time is a passage with no stops to linger
I wrap your small hand in mine today
and I dearly pray we will always stay this way.

dedicated to beautiful Alyssa, Asher and Ashley.

Friday, September 30, 2016

How Ashley came to be

Nobody warned me 2016 was going to be an exciting one too...

Sometime in late 2015, my very dear friend and colleague shared with me the sudden news that she was expecting her third child. At that time to be honest it was "Omg Omg...how are you going to survive..." interjected with lots of sympathetic laughs. A scary scenario I couldn't even envision.

So she shared with me her story of pregnancy...she had a dream last night...she dreamt I was pregnant. What?!! Not herself but me...I swallowed and I felt my hair rising and I laughed nervously. She got spooked the morning after and got the pregnancy test kit out to test and indeed...jackpot. Unbelievable...I did not know how to react except to gloat..."did you not prevent"? Seems like the timing of the cycle was "off"...

A week passed and auntie red did not arrive...UH OH...cannot be. I was super sure my cycle was accurate and punctual. I couldn't bear not knowing, so i tested...a very super duper faint double line. Listen to your parents when they tell you never to laugh at other people because what goes around comes around. It's true!!! I told my colleague...of course it was her turn to laugh...so yes dreams do come true.

The upside was we had each other for company which turned to be the best ever from that moment on and up till now where we share the latest happenings on pregnancy woes, milk vomit and poop colors with each other. Her little Emily and my little Ashley came into the world in 2016 three weeks apart, two beautiful girls...the stuff dreams are made of.

On a side note....I recently discovered a hilarious wadsapp chat to my husband two months before my pregnancy. The photo attached below. Never say never...That said, I am so blessed to have Ashley...a pleasant surprise but a very much treasured gift from God.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Asher starts school

Little asher boy is 2 years and 8 months and started pre-school last week. And the poor little guy has been crying his eyes out for a few days now. Unlike his indifferent jiejie two years ago, Asher is still rejecting the notion of school being fun and nice. We have been wrestling him into his school uniform since he started despite preparing him for the big day months ago.

In fact he follows big sis to school for drop off and pick up everyday for the past year but obviously, going to school himself is a different ball game altogether. Haha...of course we shrug it off as most folks tell us this is perfectly normal but we also really hope he will grow to love the school routine soon.

(updated in Sep16)

As I write this updated entry now, we have almost come to the end of Asher's first year at school. He spent every morning from day one kicking, screaming and crying and have to be carried in by one of the teachers. Until finally in April, in the week he turned three where he declared he was three years old and would not cry anymore. He still does occasionally do it once in a while and definitely the more emo one out of my kids.

Asher has since come a long way now. While he is not as precocious as his big sister, he is also a fan of using big words and complete sentences. Math doesn't seem like his cup of tea though as he always misses the number 16 while counting to 20 (Aly at this stage was already into times tables and division). Asher also refused to speak Mandarin altogether. However, his observation skills and ability to put two and two together is no weaker than his sister.

Asher's favorites are cars, trucks, trains, snakes, dinosaurs. His favorite TV shows are Blazer and the Monster Machines, Thomas the Train, Chuggington and Robocar Poli. He loves his lego and toy brachiosaurus and Robocar Poli toy characters. He loves to eat sweet stuff especially chocolate and chocolate cookies.

Asher is super affectionate and tells me and his daddy that he loves us everyday with accompanying hugs and kisses. With his handsome korean good looks, I definitely don't mind all the attention from this cutie pie!

Monday, November 23, 2015

Why do all stories start with once upon a time?

"Why do all stories start with once upon a time?" Asher remarked. I had no smart answer to the questions that come fast and furious now from both kids these days. They are growing so fast before my eyes, as 2015 almost draw to a close. We spend less time reading now, choosing instead to switch off the lights earlier and tuck them in bed.

Instead, bedtime stories took the form of make-up tales from me that yes...always start with once upon a time. Sometimes they were about blue trains, green trains and red cars and other times, they were about little girls, princesses and stars. I briefly toy with the idea of getting a helper on board, so i could lengthen the storytime and wind down hours every night, if we did not spend so much time commuting. Thinking about the logistics of raising the kids unfortunately bothers me more than i allow it to.

I take a look at Asher, who looks like an angel when he is sleeping. This is a boy with so much love in his heart i thought. He would share the last biscuit with his dad, even knowing he would have less. He would step aside before the finish line, if it meant letting his bossy older sister go first, a thankless action but the aftermath of the alternative consequence would be a very teary and fussy one.

Asher is at the parroting stage and mimics his older sister in his speech now. However there are some pet phrases which is truly 100% Asher. He would melt me with "Can i kiss you?" after a long day at work and pepper me with mouth to mouth kisses. Yes little boys are all about their tipper lorries and always so sweaty, but i swear this little boy is also made of honey, sugar and chocolate, oh the sweetness of Asher!

I am looking forward to our year-end Melbourne vacation, where we can have precious family time. Year end months are always peak months for Daddy so the kids would miss him on the weekends or at least part of it. Aly's demanding violin class has also wrapped up for this semester and follows the school holiday calendar and she finished her first violin exam (prep class) last saturday, kudos!

As the haze disappears, the air chills (as far as Singapore weather allows), we also wind down for year end and prepare for all the festive gatherings with family and friends. Next January will be Asher's turn to start pre nursery and Alyssa has been busy trying to prep him to learn his ABCs for school, yep she is more gan cheong than we are.

Happy pre-holidays everyone...in case the next post will likely be in 2016 ☺









Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Raising Aly...

Aly is not your typical four year old. I truly hope this post will help the Alyssa of the future to look back and understand a little bit more about herself in her early years. As a parent, i am simply unable to string a sentence together to say that my daughter has special needs. To me, she is just super special and C'mon, tell me which child does not have needs?

Close friends and family tell me to steer clear of the labels that society likes to stick on kids so as to "understand" them. Behaviors become self-fulfilling prophecies for symptoms. Mainstream school teachers have little patience for the non-conforming child and looks to us to get a diagnosis and recommend quick fixes. Admittedly, even us as anxious parents, we scour the internet to try to learn more about what we can never truly understand. And as parents, we also want to protect our children against the world's judgment. And we do. Everyone judges, and indeed, one day Aly will also judge herself.

When that day comes as she reads this, we want to tell her what a beautiful child she is, inside and out. And God has blessed her so much, for her to be wired in this unique way. When the world does not understand her, we want to tell her it doesn't matter, because she does not need to live her life to please others.

So what shall i say about lovely little four year old Alyssa? Our little girl has a sensitive soul and she reacts with lots of emotions to things that may delight or trouble her. She beams her widest smiles and jumps up and down in excitement when she is happy. But getting upset can mean a full blown melt down, especially for the unitiated caregiver, it can spiral way out of control.

Perfectionism runs in the family and Alyssa has definitely caught a "bad" case of this. She used to refuse to write certain letters of the alphabet until she practiced them to perfection. In violin class, she thrives on praise and gets upset when she does not do as well as the rest.

Alyssa is extra sensitive to sound, textures and the environment. Thankfully, she is good at verbalizing her thoughts, so we have no difficulty in understanding her needs to turn down the volume of the radio or to move to a quieter place. It took her 4.5 years to agree to take off her shoes on the beach and get over the fear of sand on her feet. She sees patterns in what we do not and asks questions we may not perceive. She is mentally aware and we can see her always internalizing and being brave about changes, which clearly affects her.

Little Aly is a gifted child. And no, i didn't need to put her through any test to figure that out. Her grasp of language and vocabulary is profound and she loves numbers, mathematics and also space and time concepts. She loves to read both fiction and non fiction, in particular about planets and stars. She is very artistic and keenly pursues challenges in dance and art and she is also a natural musicians. She picks up tunes that she hears from tv and can replicate on the piano by ear. Her academic abilities are easily a few years ahead of her peers.

Her giftedness often masks the struggles she has as some of her capabilities do not develop at the same speed as others. I hardly see Alyssa initiate unprompted conversations. She is usually comfortably in her own world and always thinking about something. I see her unable to hold meaningful eye contact most of the time and does not really have any friends or really understand the concept of relationship. Getting her to share about her day is virtually impossible. 

Aly has no interest in the activities of her peers or her younger brother and is happy to be self-absorbed, even though other times i can feel her longing as well to join the rest of the class in their play and conversations. While sometimes socially inapt, at other times she can display the most loving affection to us and often i have seen her offer hugs freely too, to her teachers and those around her. At school, the teachers tell us, "we wouldn't know what to do if Alyssa doesn't come for school. We are always excited and waiting to hear what she will say." It is nice for us to see you have such an impact on peopls around you even at your tender age of four.

I write all these now. But i know one year later, you will again change so fast before my very eyes. One day you may read this and laugh...oh...was i like that when i was small, you may ask. Who knows? Que sara sara.

I wish that the supposed weaknesses in you will become your strengths. Your sensitivities will not break you but instead set you apart. I wish you will find friends in your years ahead, that are of like mind and spirit. That you will also always know that mom and dad will always love you, for you are always that super special Aly.

Friday, May 29, 2015

The nafa violin journey

So we begin our journey at Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (nafa) with Alyssa being accepted at the gifted young violinist class which starts late June. To tell the truth, i have heard nafa was a good art and music school before but i never knew they were that strict or regimented. So it is with much apprehension and trepidation as we embark on this unknown journey.

We always knew Alyssa was musically inclined, being able to play twinkle twinkle little star on keyboard even at 2+. So i always thought i should push her a little more. We started her on Yamaha keyboard lessons 2 months ago once she met the minimum age the school would accept. Having gone through the very same junior music course myself when i was a kid, yamaha was the natural choice. I did consider individual lessons but with Aly, i also wanted to give her more opportunities to interact with other kids and yamaha does build a good foundation too.

The yamaha lessons are going well but the pace is quite slow. But the good thing was Aly was enjoying the lessons and she initiates practice at home without us prodding. At this age, we really have no demands and we just want Aly to have fun. Because Aly only attends a 3 hour kindy, she does have a lot of time everyday to herself at home with grandma, so i guess she can be rather bored.

This sort of led me to post on facebook asking for genuine suggestions on gainful means to occupy Alyssa's time. An ex university mate pinged me and introduced me to the nafa program for kids and asked me to give it a try. Originally i did think of letting her do piano but got influenced by my mate, who asked me, why not violin, another instrument? Yep i thought, why not? Something i can't play for a change. :)

We paid $20 for the auditions held in May. Auditions are held only twice a year and the timing was around the week after i made that fateful fb post. Alyssa had to prepare one song, do an echo clap routine and also answer some simple questions on pitching. She was cool as a cucumber as usual and they loved her.

At the auditions however, daddy and i were both harrowed by an obvious tiger mommy pouncing on her poor kiddo to play her violin properly etc for the audition, threatening all sorts of punishment like throwing away her clothes and offering rewards like letting her go to her cousin's house. This went on for the whole duration we were there and the poor girl was just weeping...and playing the violin was not even part of the audition requirements! We felt so sorry for the little fella but that also kinda sent little warning messages to us of more ominous things to come.

Within a week, we had a letter in the mail informing us Aly was accepted and that we needed to attend an orientation at nafa that sunday at 6pm. Wow wow....dinner time on a sunday. It was no short briefing...the principal took us through a full blown presentation of the merits of the school and the mission of nafa, which is basically to train world class performers and not just any ordinary music school where students jut take exams and get their certificates. The disctinction rate last year was 100%, a jaw dropping world record.

Both parent and kid was going to have to be really commited throughout *gulp*. Daddy said he saw tiger mom somewhere down the corridor...not sure if it was a good or bad thing that poor kiddo did not get her clothes thrown away now that she is in. The teacher offered to bring us to one of the stores to get the kids measured and purchase the violins. It was 730, we were starving and we politely declined.

I understand they accepted 7 students per violin class out of the 33 who auditioned or i could have heard wrong.  Given their stringent ways, i suspect many more will fall out in the training process. Lessons are not allowed to be missed without good reason and all parent accompanied, no maids allowed. The teacher later said, one b+ and you are on probation, two b+ and you are out. The first stage performance is scheduled 3 months after classes start. Thankfully most of the kids were all aged four or five and clueless while our faces turn white as sheet. Or maybe only mine as most of the other parents kept their composure.

At this point, we think we will just let Alyssa go ahead with what I harmlessly started. Maybe there is a performer within her and i am the only one who thinks its a tad too crazy? After all the talents are all trained and moulded from a young age. Oh well...watch this space, we keep you updated when the lessons finally start. My old schoolmate assures me it is not as bad as it sounds. *fingers crossed*