Why do all stories start with once upon a time?

"Why do all stories start with once upon a time?" Asher remarked. I had no smart answer to the questions that come fast and furious now from both kids these days. They are growing so fast before my eyes, as 2015 almost draw to a close. We spend less time reading now, choosing instead to switch off the lights earlier and tuck them in bed.

Instead, bedtime stories took the form of make-up tales from me that yes...always start with once upon a time. Sometimes they were about blue trains, green trains and red cars and other times, they were about little girls, princesses and stars. I briefly toy with the idea of getting a helper on board, so i could lengthen the storytime and wind down hours every night, if we did not spend so much time commuting. Thinking about the logistics of raising the kids unfortunately bothers me more than i allow it to.

I take a look at Asher, who looks like an angel when he is sleeping. This is a boy with so much love in his heart i thought. He would share the last biscuit with his dad, even knowing he would have less. He would step aside before the finish line, if it meant letting his bossy older sister go first, a thankless action but the aftermath of the alternative consequence would be a very teary and fussy one.

Asher is at the parroting stage and mimics his older sister in his speech now. However there are some pet phrases which is truly 100% Asher. He would melt me with "Can i kiss you?" after a long day at work and pepper me with mouth to mouth kisses. Yes little boys are all about their tipper lorries and always so sweaty, but i swear this little boy is also made of honey, sugar and chocolate, oh the sweetness of Asher!

I am looking forward to our year-end Melbourne vacation, where we can have precious family time. Year end months are always peak months for Daddy so the kids would miss him on the weekends or at least part of it. Aly's demanding violin class has also wrapped up for this semester and follows the school holiday calendar and she finished her first violin exam (prep class) last saturday, kudos!

As the haze disappears, the air chills (as far as Singapore weather allows), we also wind down for year end and prepare for all the festive gatherings with family and friends. Next January will be Asher's turn to start pre nursery and Alyssa has been busy trying to prep him to learn his ABCs for school, yep she is more gan cheong than we are.

Happy pre-holidays everyone...in case the next post will likely be in 2016 ☺

Raising Aly...

Aly is not your typical four year old. I truly hope this post will help the Alyssa of the future to look back and understand a little bit more about herself in her early years. As a parent, i am simply unable to string a sentence together to say that my daughter has special needs. To me, she is just super special and C'mon, tell me which child does not have needs?

Close friends and family tell me to steer clear of the labels that society likes to stick on kids so as to "understand" them. Behaviors become self-fulfilling prophecies for symptoms. Mainstream school teachers have little patience for the non-conforming child and looks to us to get a diagnosis and recommend quick fixes. Admittedly, even us as anxious parents, we scour the internet to try to learn more about what we can never truly understand. And as parents, we also want to protect our children against the world's judgment. And we do. Everyone judges, and indeed, one day Aly will also judge herself.

When that day comes as she reads this, we want to tell her what a beautiful child she is, inside and out. And God has blessed her so much, for her to be wired in this unique way. When the world does not understand her, we want to tell her it doesn't matter, because she does not need to live her life to please others.

So what shall i say about lovely little four year old Alyssa? Our little girl has a sensitive soul and she reacts with lots of emotions to things that may delight or trouble her. She beams her widest smiles and jumps up and down in excitement when she is happy. But getting upset can mean a full blown melt down, especially for the unitiated caregiver, it can spiral way out of control.

Perfectionism runs in the family and Alyssa has definitely caught a "bad" case of this. She used to refuse to write certain letters of the alphabet until she practiced them to perfection. In violin class, she thrives on praise and gets upset when she does not do as well as the rest.

Alyssa is extra sensitive to sound, textures and the environment. Thankfully, she is good at verbalizing her thoughts, so we have no difficulty in understanding her needs to turn down the volume of the radio or to move to a quieter place. It took her 4.5 years to agree to take off her shoes on the beach and get over the fear of sand on her feet. She sees patterns in what we do not and asks questions we may not perceive. She is mentally aware and we can see her always internalizing and being brave about changes, which clearly affects her.

Little Aly is a gifted child. And no, i didn't need to put her through any test to figure that out. Her grasp of language and vocabulary is profound and she loves numbers, mathematics and also space and time concepts. She loves to read both fiction and non fiction, in particular about planets and stars. She is very artistic and keenly pursues challenges in dance and art and she is also a natural musicians. She picks up tunes that she hears from tv and can replicate on the piano by ear. Her academic abilities are easily a few years ahead of her peers.

Her giftedness often masks the struggles she has as some of her capabilities do not develop at the same speed as others. I hardly see Alyssa initiate unprompted conversations. She is usually comfortably in her own world and always thinking about something. I see her unable to hold meaningful eye contact most of the time and does not really have any friends or really understand the concept of relationship. Getting her to share about her day is virtually impossible. 

Aly has no interest in the activities of her peers or her younger brother and is happy to be self-absorbed, even though other times i can feel her longing as well to join the rest of the class in their play and conversations. While sometimes socially inapt, at other times she can display the most loving affection to us and often i have seen her offer hugs freely too, to her teachers and those around her. At school, the teachers tell us, "we wouldn't know what to do if Alyssa doesn't come for school. We are always excited and waiting to hear what she will say." It is nice for us to see you have such an impact on peopls around you even at your tender age of four.

I write all these now. But i know one year later, you will again change so fast before my very eyes. One day you may read this and laugh...oh...was i like that when i was small, you may ask. Who knows? Que sara sara.

I wish that the supposed weaknesses in you will become your strengths. Your sensitivities will not break you but instead set you apart. I wish you will find friends in your years ahead, that are of like mind and spirit. That you will also always know that mom and dad will always love you, for you are always that super special Aly.

The nafa violin journey

So we begin our journey at Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (nafa) with Alyssa being accepted at the gifted young violinist class which starts late June. To tell the truth, i have heard nafa was a good art and music school before but i never knew they were that strict or regimented. So it is with much apprehension and trepidation as we embark on this unknown journey.

We always knew Alyssa was musically inclined, being able to play twinkle twinkle little star on keyboard even at 2+. So i always thought i should push her a little more. We started her on Yamaha keyboard lessons 2 months ago once she met the minimum age the school would accept. Having gone through the very same junior music course myself when i was a kid, yamaha was the natural choice. I did consider individual lessons but with Aly, i also wanted to give her more opportunities to interact with other kids and yamaha does build a good foundation too.

The yamaha lessons are going well but the pace is quite slow. But the good thing was Aly was enjoying the lessons and she initiates practice at home without us prodding. At this age, we really have no demands and we just want Aly to have fun. Because Aly only attends a 3 hour kindy, she does have a lot of time everyday to herself at home with grandma, so i guess she can be rather bored.

This sort of led me to post on facebook asking for genuine suggestions on gainful means to occupy Alyssa's time. An ex university mate pinged me and introduced me to the nafa program for kids and asked me to give it a try. Originally i did think of letting her do piano but got influenced by my mate, who asked me, why not violin, another instrument? Yep i thought, why not? Something i can't play for a change. :)

We paid $20 for the auditions held in May. Auditions are held only twice a year and the timing was around the week after i made that fateful fb post. Alyssa had to prepare one song, do an echo clap routine and also answer some simple questions on pitching. She was cool as a cucumber as usual and they loved her.

At the auditions however, daddy and i were both harrowed by an obvious tiger mommy pouncing on her poor kiddo to play her violin properly etc for the audition, threatening all sorts of punishment like throwing away her clothes and offering rewards like letting her go to her cousin's house. This went on for the whole duration we were there and the poor girl was just weeping...and playing the violin was not even part of the audition requirements! We felt so sorry for the little fella but that also kinda sent little warning messages to us of more ominous things to come.

Within a week, we had a letter in the mail informing us Aly was accepted and that we needed to attend an orientation at nafa that sunday at 6pm. Wow wow....dinner time on a sunday. It was no short briefing...the principal took us through a full blown presentation of the merits of the school and the mission of nafa, which is basically to train world class performers and not just any ordinary music school where students jut take exams and get their certificates. The disctinction rate last year was 100%, a jaw dropping world record.

Both parent and kid was going to have to be really commited throughout *gulp*. Daddy said he saw tiger mom somewhere down the corridor...not sure if it was a good or bad thing that poor kiddo did not get her clothes thrown away now that she is in. The teacher offered to bring us to one of the stores to get the kids measured and purchase the violins. It was 730, we were starving and we politely declined.

I understand they accepted 7 students per violin class out of the 33 who auditioned or i could have heard wrong.  Given their stringent ways, i suspect many more will fall out in the training process. Lessons are not allowed to be missed without good reason and all parent accompanied, no maids allowed. The teacher later said, one b+ and you are on probation, two b+ and you are out. The first stage performance is scheduled 3 months after classes start. Thankfully most of the kids were all aged four or five and clueless while our faces turn white as sheet. Or maybe only mine as most of the other parents kept their composure.

At this point, we think we will just let Alyssa go ahead with what I harmlessly started. Maybe there is a performer within her and i am the only one who thinks its a tad too crazy? After all the talents are all trained and moulded from a young age. Oh well...watch this space, we keep you updated when the lessons finally start. My old schoolmate assures me it is not as bad as it sounds. *fingers crossed*

The Artist collection

Alyssa has been taking art classes for about half a year now...we started her again because of comments from a visiting auntie to Singapore that she was just sooooo bored at home since Aly only attends a 3 hour kindy versus a full day childcare.

Aly always loved drawing (although coloring not that much) so i wasn't surprised to see her enjoying her classes. What surprised me more was the lovely art pieces we were able to bring home and hang up on our walls. Each piece nicely laminated by the art school and brought back home weekly by the little tot. We hope she continues enjoy all her classes like she does now even as she grows older!

Birthday month activities

We still decided to go ahead and do a small party this year anyway....partly pressured by the kiddies. We had one cake for each, a disney princess for aly and a chuggingtom design for asher from bengawan solo. Cheap n good!

Ordered our favorite mee siam from royal cafe plus a couple of other bites, nene korean fried chicken and we were set. Oops almost forgot the delicious beef rendang dad cooked the evening before and macaroni soup for the kids.

This year we did it at my mum's house because there was just so much more space. We even rented some toys for the kids (swing n slide, ride on fire engine and a kitchen set). I threw in face paints for entertainment haha and there was bubble solution from the goodie bags so lots to do. Too lazy to organize any games though but at that young age, think the kids all dun need much to keep them busy!

I know alyssa definitely did enjoy herself. She still would not eat her birthday cake as does not like anything sweet but i know she loves the whole cake, candles and birthday song do. Asher was also already into candle blowing and of course, his whole face lights up whenever he sees caaaaaake....yuuuuummy!

Thanks to all the aunties and uncles for all the lovely presents. Lego, thomas the train, puzzles, books...what more can the 2 kiddos ask for. The group was also kept small so we adults could at least have some decent conversation, or at least as much as the kids would allow us to. Sadly, the aircon broke down and dang the sweltering midday heat, but still i think the kids had fun. And we managed to plan and execute something small and cosy without all that fanfare of full blown modern age parties with magicians and frozen themed everything...

Apart from the party, we brought Asher to the playhouse @ rochester on his birthday and brought Alyssa ice skating for the first time on hers. Each child had a home baked star shaped cream cake on their actual birthdays, shared with the family and in Aly's case, with her friends at school.

We also brought the kids out a lot this month...doing da little things we hope they would enjoy. Again, its not about what they would remember, but more about living to the fullest even in their childish innocence, before that complete awareness on reality sinks in as they grow up.

The kids grow up too quickly. Like every year, with every birthday candle blown, we silently wish they grow up happy and healthy. What is reasonable and we are able to provide, we will do our best and for the rest, you are in God's good hands. Have another blessed year ahead!

February to April...chinese new year, roller coasters and more!

As usual, cramming what should have been 5-6 posts into one big late one. This year's CNY finally see both kids able to walk, talk and entertain themselves. Phew...the fear of CNY is finally over! Well ok not exactly...but at least its much better than last year n can only get better! Love the occasion to deck the kids with all the cutesy outfits but hey, they will only be able to pull it off only these few years anyway before they get too old.

CNY falls smack in budget season at work so getting some days off could be relaxing but this year's CNY was a four day long drama. We ran out of cheongsams by day 3 and it almost felt like a relief by the time i got back to office. But still, i think the kids had fun collecting their angpao but neither one asked to keep their own angpaos yet so we have not gone to start their personal savings account.

CNY was followed up shortly by a trip to HK. I had to go for work and i convinced hubby, mom to bring the 2 kiddies along. It was not such a good idea as the daddy complained of having to deal with two sticky and cranky kids. Alyssa also just started her latest hate relationship with automatic toilet flushes when she got splashed on recently and so...the toilet visits during the trip were nothing short of melodramatic.

But we did enjoy disneyland, yes again. But the queues this time were worse than ever. One hour wait per ride...and that's even for the boring kiddie ones. At the end of the day, both kids fell asleep and since we were pramless this trip, we had to lug two deadweights all the way home.

Apart from disneyland, the kids also got to meet their hk aunties and uncles, and most importantly also their tai-po, my grandma. Grandma is 93 (i think at least...) but still in the pink of health although mobility is an issue. Alyssa also got to play with cousin Charmaine. One year younger but almost a whole head taller. Good genes from the parents (same good genes in all lui family though which somehow skipped me haha).

This year, alyssa also watched her very first movie with porpor...Cinderella! When asked how was the movie, her response was "it was excellent!" Haha. After the movie, she promptly switched her favorite princess from aurora, sleeping beauty to cinderella. Haha...little gals..

We also visited the zoo for the 3rd time with Aly and this was Asher's first visit. Little Asher boy definitely expressed much more interest in the animals than his nonchalant elder sister. But around noon, it started to pour. The good thing was it still did clear up in the afternoon so the kids still played at the outdoor water playground and managed to still feed the goats. Since my company has the free zoo passes, i guess we will make it a point to go again sometime soon!

After the zoo came the long awaited legoland weekend in early April! The kids were looking forward to it of course, how not to with me reminding them to be a good girl and good boy all the way leading up till the trip. I must say the trip was well worth it, we checked in at legoland hotel for 2 nights and spent a day at legoland, one day at hello kitty/ little big club and the last day chilling out at the pool / jb premium outlets. It was our first drive into jb with Mr Ng innocently asking the customs drive thru, "eh must we show our passports?" Haha.

The kids loved both little big club and legoland. Hello kitty town was quite boring. Little big club was like a very expensive indoor playground but then again they had those kiddie rides which asher and aly loved. Especially when most of the rides were thomas the train themed and asher got to ride on thomas himself, bertie the bus and harold the helicopter. Neither of the kids were super interested in any of the live shows featured at the park.

Legoland was the climax...lego driving school where aly earned her first "driving license", boat rides, lego trains, fire engines and planes...can't ask for more. Aly also gamely volunteered to go up on stage (without being asked) for the lego friends dance show much to our amusement and we could tell she really enjoyed performing. Of course there were all the roller coasters too which aly sadly had to miss because she didn't meet the height requirements. Kudos to brave heidi who went on the dragon, somehow got conned by her mummy haha.

I would definitely want to head back again next time because the kids really had fun and best part was, no queues for rides! Superb. The legoland hotel is a big boon too, lego everywhere and a fun big room where kids also have their own bunk beds and sleeping space. But next trip, we will give the premium outlets a miss though, not cheap and not much variety too!

Stay tuned to the next posts on the april babies birthdays!