today marks the last day of a very long week for me. i decided to embark on further education sometime back and this week was the first week at school. i spent this week occasionally mulling the consequences of my potentially reckless decision, constantly wondering if i would emerge from this in one piece. the only saving grace was that i am still in between jobs at the moment, so work commitments have not found its way to the equation yet.
within a day or two, i soon realised balancing a very demanding school and family was going to be absolutely herculean. it wasn't just me taking an emba...the whole family was taking it along with me. mom and hubby were fully mobilized for the one week exercise, transporting and caring for the babies, milk, diapers etc on a full scale basis from 7am to 10pm. babies x 2 have to wake earlier and sleep later and neither were particularly pleased.
i slogged through the first week of strategy, organizational behavior and statistics classes, struggling to keep up intellectual discussions or network with 37 other classmates (mostly enthusiastic alphas) wondering where all their energy come from. networking itself does not come naturally and i found it at times more demanding than the lessons itself. the lecturers were amazing and made boring subjects come to life and surprisingly i never felt inclined to doze off despite the sleep deprivation at night. in between breaks, i pump to try to maintain the milk supply but the volume dipped as the week wore on.
finally Sunday came and as i finished off the stats exam paper, a huge feeling of lightening embraced me. after lunch, we headed to east coast park with the kids. as hubby brought Aly for a walk and i sat on the bench facing the sea and feeding Asher, i decided there was no better moment to blog than now.
i pondered if i was being fair to my family for cutting short their family time with me. i wondered what my groupmates thought of me for missing part of the case study discussion as i had to rush off or pump etc. and i really wondered if i had just concocted and consumed unwittingly the recipe for disaster. cognitive dissonance was at its all time high.
as the wind blew in my face and i looked back at the week past, it dawned on me that i was seriously overthinking this stuff. who doesn't struggle in life or constantly juggle conflicting priorities? even though i have brought it up a notch personally, the core values don't change. family still always comes first to me. :)
with that, i head over to Brussels sprouts for dinner with the hungry and sleepy kids and sign off here. unfortunately no beer for nursing mummies now so i'll just have to wash down my revelations with some cold iced water. most of all, i have to thank my super mom and super hubby for supporting me in this journey despite where the road leads.
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